This Book Is Not Good For You

19 Apr

This is the third installment of the the Secret Series.  I had to skip reviewing the 2nd book (If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late) because it WAS indeed too late for me  (… I had to sign THE CONTRACT, the gall of Mr. Bosch!).  After THAT experience, I developed a skill counting backwards.

Anyway, we follow the pursuits of Cass and Max-Ernest.  This time trouble came a-knocking on Cass’s life when her mom gets kidnapped by Senor Hugo, a chocolatier in league with the Midnight Sun.  In exchange for Cass’s mom, Senor Hugo wants a magical instrument called the Tuning Fork.  Joined by Max-Ernest and their new friend, Yo-Yoji,  Cass plans a daring rescue. Will she be able to collect her mother from the vile hands of Ms. Mauvais and Dr. L?  Read on and find out if that bite of dark chocolatey gooey-ness is worth it.

The book promises to crash diets everywhere.  True enough, my chocolate consumption increased by 30% due to the chocolate recipes found in the appendix of this demonic piece of literature. As expected it was better than the 1st and the 2nd book. Probably because we already know who the characters are (thus diminishing the need for pages of introduction) and the author was able to move the story forward (backward if you’re basing on the 2nd book).  I love that the so-named “Cass” (HE said he’s not giving REAL data, so Cass is 100% not her name) is growing up before my eyes and discovering who she is through her past and through her family and her friends. “Max-Ernest” goes through advanced puberty thanks to “Yo-Yoji,” and probably had  fun being Sanse for awhile (See book 2 to know about Yo-Yoji and start at page 316 of book 3 to understand what I’m talking about). The villains roster also got interesting with the participation of the “Senor Hugo,”  a chef who specializes in the devilry of chocolate cuisine (just shows what kind of religion Mr. Bosch practices).   Notable performances in the book:

“Ms. Mauvais” for her performance as a NUN.

“The Skelton Sisters” for being who they are.

“Yo-Yoji” for turning Japanese.

And “Owen,” for having multi-personality disorder.

Though this book is not good for most of us, it can be quite handy as a travelling tool (Translation of “HELLO” in 100 different languages – friendly!).  But still be warned, do not read after midnight. Recipes will cause excessive binging and craving. Nigella Lawson would be jealous (or maybe not).

PS: For those trying to find out who Mr. Bosch is – you’re in the wrong place. I don’t know him either. I suggest you go attend a chocolate convention or bait him with a dark chocolate sale  (70% discount – That’ll get him out of hiding.)  I read somewhere though that Lemony Snickett and Pseudonymous Bosch can be brothers or is the same person. They share the same publisher, you can start there. Pretend to be someone from the IRS. They might start talking, hehehe.


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